Keynote: Managers are from Mars, Developers are from Venus

You're a manager. You've been hired to run a small (or large) development team, and for the life of you, you can't understand these people. Every time you try to motivate them, they balk and resist. You try to hire them, you can't figure out what they want and they walk away. Then, without any sort of action on your part, suddenly they put in 16-hour days, and they pull off some amazing work, but when you try to ask them to do it again for a critical update, they get angry and quit. What the heck? Where did these bizarre alien creatures come from, and how in the world are you supposed to work with them?

You're a developer. You work for what has to be the most clueless manager in history. For the life of you, you can't understand this guy. He keeps trying to "motivate" you when all you want is for him to get out of the way. He's ready to drop thousands (or millions) of dollars on a release party, but getting him to pony up some cash for a conference or training class is like wringing blood from a rock. What the heck? Where did this bizarre alien creatre come from, and how in the world are you supposed to work with him?